The "Pork Chop" Incident

Hey there. So on the way back to work from lunch, my wife and I were talking in the car, as we always do, and she brings up the "pork chop" incident. We laughed and then she says, "Why don't you post THAT on your blog?" lol

What is this pork chop incident, you say? lol Well, a couple of nights ago, while we were in bed watching TV, I believe some weight loss commercial came on, or something about a pig came up, I don't remember the details... Anyways, I've gained a few pounds since I got with my wife (I used to be a stick figure 118 pounds then and am now a "healthy" 170) my wife looks at me and says, "No more pork chops for you." I damn near had a heart attack. I'm sure my heart skipped a beat or two. I love me some pork chops and I was like, no way. lol She says yes way and then comes up with, "You know, as a matter of fact, no more pork for you. That includes sausage and pork chops." Now wait right there for a moment, a man needs his pork chops. I can give you the sausage but don't take away those tender, succulent slices of meat that taste oh so good. lol

So what's my come back to her statement??? "Well, if I can't have pork can I at least have other kinds of "pork" chop? Like, from other animals, right?" Oh man, my wife started laughing her ass off. I smiled. Don't know what I was thinking (I don't think I was cause a life without pork chops just clouded my mind with terror. lol) but it's obvious that there is no other kinds of "pork" since pork comes from pigs. lmao

Oh man... If only you knew the conversations that we've had. Maybe I should I start posting those here as reference when I need a laugh. lol I've said and did many a stupid thing and I'm sure that we'll get a kick out of it. Later.

The Way to a Man's Heart

No friends, that's not a golden turd. lol That's chocolaty goodness wrapped in a gold foil thingy. lol One of the many perks of my wife and I working in the same company is that we can surprise ourselves with little notes such as these. I'm telling you people, she's bad ass. Love ya babe! Thanks.

Fairies Know Best

Hey there. Just a little something that I got from my wife via Email and I thought was hilarious. Hmmm.... Now I wonder if she's trying to tell me something by this. =o)


The Married Couple

A married couple, in their early 60's, was celebrating their 44th
wedding anniversary at a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny beautiful Fairy appeared on their table. She said: "For being such an exemplary married couple and especially at this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, said the wife, I want to travel around the World with my darling
husband". The fairy waved her magic wand ; and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner and Twenty Thousand Dollars appeared in her hands.

Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a minute and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. So I'm going with my mind and not my Heart. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife and the Fairy were shocked and disappointed. But a wish is a wish. So, the Fairy waved her magic wand, and - Poof! - the husband became 92 years old.

The Moral of the story:
Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember; Fairies are Female.

The Hitokiri Battosai

Hey there. How bad ass can my wife be? Not only is she the mother of my children and the most awesome wife out there, but she goes out and gets me Kenshin's Reverse Blade katana for Father's Day! Now, I'm not all about gifts and what not, Father's Day is to be with family and count the blessings of fatherhood, but my wife outdid herself with this one. It's a beatiful sword. I haven't had the chance to snap a pic of it, but once I do, I'll post it immediately. All I have to do now is buy a wall mount for it so that I can display it's beauty. I wanted to bring it to work to show off, but she said no. lol Probably get arrested for walking down the street with a samurai's sword in full view. lmao

All I need now, is an opponent. Until then, later.

Lakers Down 3-2

Hey there Lakers. The Lakers pulled out the win, despite a very sloppy game. It was nothing to be proud of, but a win is a win. I loved the post game interview by Gasol. "I didn't want them celebrating on my home court, with champainge and crap." Classic stuff. lol Man, the Lakers, again showing why they are the Western champs, bring it to the Celtics in the first quarter. Killing them in every stat. But that was just about it for the half. They fell asleep in the second quarter and let the Celtics claw their way back from a 17 point deficit and cut it to 3. For the first time this series, the Lakers win the 3rd quarter. A huge plus considering that the Lakers are being killed in the 3rd quarter of every single game this series. Then, there was the fourth quarter... Again, the Lakers lost their lead. Again, the Lakers lost their composure. But this time, they didn't fumble the win away (unlike game 4. As you've probably noticed... I didn't write about game 4 since I was extremely upset with the Lakers that I didn't even want to relive that game).

That's right, we won the game, but we didn't WIN the game. The Celtics merely choked at the end and we held on. Paul Pierce was careless with the ball so Kobe steals it, Kevin Garnett misses two HUGE free throws, Lakers fumble the ball with seconds to go in the game but the Celtics can't come up with the steal. I'm extremely disappointed. I was expecting us to bring it to em, kick some Celtic ass and make the Celtics think that they're in trouble. Instead, I get a half assed effort and just enough effort to hang on to a victory in the 4th quarter. Lakers should have won by at least 15, instead... it's a nail biter going down to the wire.

It was a little funny watching the game tonight. I have this bet going on with my wife that if the Celtics win the title, I'll get her a Coach bag (or any other bag or bags of her liking) and if I win, I get me a new tattoo. It was funny because she's not a basketball fan and is just going against the Lakers for this bet but as she was watching the finals minutes, she was like, "Oh my god, I'm feeling nervous.". lol I was like, "Babe, now you know how I feel with all the games." She comes back with, "But this is only because if they win, I'll get my bags. There's nothing on the line on the other games so I don't care." Or something along those lines. lol My babe, you gotta love her.

Game 6. Tuesday. Boston. See you there. Later.